From Okhaldhunga to Oklahoma - Ram Prasad's journey from Nepal to the US

From Okhaldhunga to Oklahoma

Dr. Ambika Prasad Adhikari*

The setting in Nepal

The fifties were interesting times internationally and for Nepal too.  Many nations, including neighboring India had just become free from the clutches of Colonialism.  Following the Second World War, many countries of the world had begun nation building process and were gearing up towards development.  In Nepal, democracy was instituted for the first time in her history.  Extraordinary personalities in all fields, such as, B. P. Koirala and Laxmi Prasad Devkota had begun to lead Nepal towards modernity in politics and literature. Many pioneering events had just taken place in the country of just 10 million people.  For example, Radio Nepal had been launched, and the aviation era had dawned in mountainous Nepal.  Nepal was negotiating with India to construct its first highway ever – the Tribhuvan Highway – linking the nation’s capital with the India border, a gateway of the outside world to exotic Nepal. 

Innocent early life in Nepal

This cohort of people born in the fifties essentially constitutes the present day mainstream leaders and professionals in Nepal, and runs the country.  Belonging to this cohort, Ram Prasad was born in Okhladhunga, a far away hill of Nepal a place even by Nepali standards, which is still waiting for modern development to reach.   Ram Prasad’s parents were farmers, belonging to a family that had lived in the same village for ten generations. 

Ram’s elders were adept in the farming activities, like tilling land, chopping trees, shepherding cows, hiking through the forests and picking fruits.  Awed by their outdoor skills, he followed their footsteps and learnt the ways of survival in the hinterlands.  Life close to the land and nature is the best.  Henry Ford once said “chop your own wood, it will warm you twice”; it was exactly the practice in the hills.  In retrospect, living in the midst of concrete jungle, and winding highways in Nepal or in America, Ram often finds solace in the thoughts of those days.

Ram did not go to grade school then, as his parents’ taught him the three R’s at home.  In those days, there was no climbing up of a long ladder of schooling, as the kids grill through today.  There was no need to start at Nursery then move on to lower KG and Upper KG before embarking on even Grade one – to Ram, this process looks like Ph. D. already.  Most of his classmates started at whatever grade they wanted to, like third, fourth, fifth or even sixth! 

Sweet life in Kathmandu

After a couple of decades of leisurely education, household chores, and moving around to make a living within Nepal, Ram finally got an opportunity for higher education in Kathmandu.  Wow, that was quite an achievement, and life felt good for Ram!  Kathmandu provided the best of both worlds, a sophisticated urban life in the midst of mountainous landscapes!  The hot Momos in the cold Kathmandu weather tasted sumptuous, and people were friendly. Ram fully indulged in it, as much as he could afford.

After graduating, Ram became a teacher.  Bachelor life with a monthly salary of Rs. 500 tasted great, and he enjoyed parties almost every evening with Khukuri Rum and buff barbeque!  The corner restaurants and bars of Kathmandu streets catered well even to his income. In retrospect with one single bill to pay for a room, life was practically stress free, with no need for Yoga classes or psychiatric counseling! In fact, with his salary he was already a middle class Kathmanduite!

Craving to go to a “foreign” land

Within a few years, though, the lure of going abroad prevailed on Ram.  America was the preferred destination. It was a romantic thought, half way around globe, a rich and developed country beckoning the poor Nepali!  Ram’s image of the US was created by some films in USIS, the colorful pictures in the “Free World (Swatantra Bishwa)” magazine, and stories from people who had visited the “Promised Land”.  In 1969 when the USIS in Kathmandu exhibited the pictures of Neil Armstrong walking on the moon, US became the ultimate destination to many Nepalis.  Ram fantasized of working in NASA and help send people to the moon.  Further, America was a land of big corporation like GM, Fords and Coca-Cola, where people earned untold amounts.  Some people even believed that money grew on trees in America!

Slowly the “land of milk and honey” became an irresistible destination, and Ram had to mobilize all his intellectual might to realize the dream.  A graduate of local Nepali school, he ventured the hardship of TOEFL, GRE and filled out miles of forms in order to make the trip to the US.  The only way for ordinary Nepalis to come to the US then was on government scholarship.  The common place sight of Nepalis visiting the US these days for a week’s vacation, or to observe the birth of their grandchildren was unthinkable then.  Only royalties and perhaps the top hundred elites of Nepal could visit the US or Europe on their own.  For mortal Nepalis like Ram it was impossible to come here privately, and scholarship remained the only salvation.

Finally in America

After preparing for almost a year, Ram Prasad finally landed at a dazzling International Airport in America.  Before the school actually started, Ram got busy with tours of super market, trips to fast food restaurants and orientation parties where alcohol flowed like water in the river, and there were mountains of food.  Life tasted sweet and smelled fresh!  The journey to a new world for a poor Nepali thus begun, and it will take Ram through many memorable experiences, both sweet and sour.

The student life was exciting with a mixture of parties and studies.  Those days, many in his class in the hinterland university could not believe that a persons from a place as exotic as Nepal could actually be in their midst in flesh and bone!  School was very demanding, and Ram wondered what he could have become if he worked like that in Nepal. After much hard work, Ram graduated from college and began to think of the next step. For a while Ram thought of returning to Nepal, but why should he after investing so much time and work in the US.  His family and friends told him he would be a fool to go back. Also, what was there in Nepal to return to?

A US salary man’s life

Ram graduated, took up a job, got married to a Nepali woman and settled in the American way of life, and began to muddle through the harsh reality of life in the US.  He enjoyed all the American luxuries, a suburban home, two cars, dozens of credit cards, and a two weeks vacation each year!

Slowly, he found the work to be relentlessly hard, and at home too it was drudge, with no help except for the machines. The never ending streams of bills, credit, and exposure to every day violence in the city have taken their toll on Ram’s peaceful temperament.  He is now a bit more tense, irritated, and at times even frustrated with trying to balance finances and family.  Ram takes comfort in the fact that for many Nepalis his life in America still is perceived like a dream come true.  But Ram is well educated, and has worked hard to establish himself, so a simple existence is not satisfying enough for him.  With similar credentials, his friends back home run the country, and what has Ram achieved in life, except perhaps, a materially more comfortable life in America? In fact, even financially his counterparts in Nepal seem better off. Ram now compares his earlier imagination with the facts of life in the USA, and sometimes wonders how his life would have been if he had returned to Nepal after graduation.  He feels that it certainly would have been more meaningful and fulfilling.

Life in America:  Mixed feelings

Ram often visits Nepal, and is astounded by the wealth, and fame of many of his colleagues, who stuck with Nepal.  Some came abroad, but did return either own their own will, or because they could not manage jobs and visas in the West.  In those days, Ram, appeared like a winner, but that victory seems to be sliding away slowly. His colleagues in Nepal lagged behind in the early years, but caught up later.  Ram with his excellent education, and ability to work hard, would have been in the same place as his colleagues in Nepal, but that is only a hypothetical thought now.

When he thinks of how relaxed his young days were in the Nepali hills, life in Nepal does not appear to be too bad at all.  The popular belief that all problems will end once you reach the shores of the US, have been turned upside down. Ram can not go back to Nepal, it is too late.  His kids are here, his life is here. Not that the kids respect him much or listen to him, but they are Americans and will be foreigners in Nepal.  His wife likes it here, away from demanding in-laws and relatives, and a safe distance from the daily tasks of looking for water and daily necessities of life.  Further Ram is getting older, and he has begun to experience all the rich men’s diseases: diabetes, blood pressure, stress, heart condition, arthritis and allergies.  He is scared to be back in a place where the medical system is unreliable.  He lived all his productive life in America, who is going to give him respect in Nepal, or how can he find a useful and gainful role in Nepal?  What has he given back to Nepal? He has contemplated about doing some business in Nepal, but he is reluctant to face competition from his colleagues in Nepal who have already established themselves.

Ram has slowly resigned himself to the life of a Non Resident Nepal (NRN) in America and has come to terms with the implication of his earlier decision. There are many things, sometimes just beliefs, to justify that life is better in the US compared to Nepal. For example, in the US there is clean water, unadulterated food, functioning phones, electricity; and the whole system works here.  Further, life in the US is stable and predictable – apart from ubiquitous crimes, whereas Nepal seems mired in never ending violence, mismanagement and corruption.  Ram takes consolation from this contrast. Although he would have been a VIP in Nepal, in the foreign land he is just another struggling immigrant.  In his imagination, life in America is not as fulfilling to him, as it would have been in Nepal.  But the reality is who cares for Ram in Nepal; if he returns he will just be a retired “Lahure”?    Any novelty value he has will quickly fade away in a few weeks.

Ram finally accepts the reality, and even believes that life is not too bad in the USA.  He does not have many options anyway.  Unlike in the Hindi movies, you can not be in two places at once, and you only get one shot at life!

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* Dr. Ambika Adhikari is affiliated with Arizona State University, USA. Note:  Ram Prasad is a fictional character.